Obsessed Much? Tips To Attract A Narcissist

Attracting someone, especially someone with narcissistic tendencies, can feel like navigating a complex maze. It requires understanding their mindset and employing specific strategies to capture their attention and, yes, even make them obsessed. This article delves into expert tips and techniques to help you achieve just that. Remember, though, that while attracting someone can be exciting, it's crucial to prioritize your own well-being and ensure the relationship is healthy and balanced. So, if you're ready to learn how to make a narcissist totally obsessed with you, let's dive in!

Understanding the Narcissistic Mindset

Before we get into the nitty-gritty of attracting a narcissist, it's essential, guys, to understand what makes them tick. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. However, not everyone who exhibits some narcissistic traits has NPD. Many people simply have narcissistic tendencies, such as a strong desire for admiration or a high opinion of themselves.

To truly understand how to make a narcissist obsessed, you need to recognize their core needs. They crave admiration, validation, and a sense of superiority. They often have a fragile ego beneath the surface, which they protect by seeking constant reassurance and putting others down. This doesn't mean they're inherently bad people, but it does mean that relationships with them can be challenging. Think of it like this: they're constantly searching for a mirror to reflect their greatness, and if you can become that mirror, you'll capture their attention.

One of the key aspects of the narcissistic mindset is the need for control. They want to be in charge and feel like they're calling the shots. This can manifest in various ways, from dictating social plans to manipulating conversations. Understanding this need for control is crucial because it will inform your approach to attracting them. You need to create a dynamic where they feel in control while you subtly guide their obsession.

Another crucial element is their fear of vulnerability. Narcissists often struggle with genuine intimacy because it requires them to be vulnerable, which they perceive as a weakness. This fear can lead to a pattern of creating superficial relationships where they maintain control and avoid deep emotional connections. To break through this barrier, you need to create an environment where they feel safe enough to let their guard down, even if just a little. This can be achieved by offering admiration and validation, but also by subtly challenging their self-perception in a way that doesn't feel threatening.

Finally, remember that narcissists are often highly attuned to social status and appearances. They want to be seen with someone who enhances their image and makes them look good to others. This means that your own confidence, attractiveness, and social standing can play a significant role in capturing their attention. However, it's important to maintain your authenticity and not become someone you're not just to impress them. The key is to highlight your best qualities while staying true to yourself.

Expert Tips to Make a Narcissist Obsessed

Now that we've explored the narcissistic mindset, let's get into the practical steps you can take to make a narcissist obsessed with you. These tips are based on psychological principles and expert advice, but remember that every individual is different, and what works for one person may not work for another.

1. Shower Them with Admiration and Praise

This is the golden rule when it comes to attracting a narcissist. They thrive on admiration and praise, so make sure to give it to them generously. Compliment their accomplishments, their appearance, and their intelligence. Be specific in your praise and highlight the qualities they value most in themselves. For example, instead of just saying "You look nice," say "That shirt really brings out your eyes. You have such a great sense of style." The more specific you are, the more genuine your praise will seem.

Remember, narcissists have a deep-seated need to feel superior, so any compliments that reinforce this belief will be particularly effective. You can admire their skills, their knowledge, or their accomplishments. Make them feel like they are the most talented, intelligent, and capable person in the room. This doesn't mean you have to lie or exaggerate, but it does mean focusing on their strengths and highlighting their positive qualities. However, be careful not to overdo it, as excessive flattery can seem insincere and might make them suspicious. Find a balance between genuine admiration and strategic flattery.

Another way to shower them with admiration is to actively listen to their stories and show genuine interest in their experiences. Ask follow-up questions and encourage them to talk about themselves. This will not only make them feel admired but also validate their sense of self-importance. Remember, narcissists love to talk about themselves, so giving them an audience is a surefire way to capture their attention.

2. Play Hard to Get (But Not Too Hard)

While showering them with admiration is crucial, it's also important to play hard to get to some extent. Narcissists are often drawn to challenges and excitement, so if you make yourself too easily available, they may lose interest quickly. Create a sense of mystery and intrigue by not always being readily accessible. Don't answer their calls or texts immediately, and don't always agree to their plans. This will make them work harder for your attention, which will, in turn, increase your perceived value in their eyes.

However, there's a fine line between playing hard to get and being completely unavailable. If you make yourself too difficult to reach, they may simply move on to someone else who is more receptive. The key is to create a sense of challenge without making them feel rejected. You can do this by showing interest in them but also maintaining your independence and having your own life outside of the relationship. This will make them see you as a valuable and desirable person, which will only fuel their obsession.

3. Be Confident and Independent

Confidence is incredibly attractive to narcissists. They are drawn to people who exude self-assurance and self-worth. Display your confidence by maintaining strong eye contact, speaking clearly and assertively, and standing up for yourself. Don't be afraid to express your opinions and disagree with them, as long as you do so respectfully. This will show them that you are not easily intimidated and that you have your own sense of identity.

Independence is also crucial. Narcissists are often attracted to people who have their own goals, interests, and social circles. This demonstrates that you are not dependent on them for your happiness or validation, which can be very appealing to someone who is used to being the center of attention. Maintain your own hobbies, spend time with your friends, and pursue your passions. This will make you a more well-rounded and interesting person, which will only increase their obsession.

4. Create a Sense of Mystery

Narcissists are often drawn to the unknown and the mysterious. If you reveal everything about yourself upfront, they may lose interest quickly. Instead, create a sense of intrigue by keeping some things about yourself private. Don't overshare on social media, and avoid revealing too much personal information early on in the relationship. This will make them curious about you and want to learn more, which will only fuel their obsession.

You can also create a sense of mystery by being unpredictable. Don't always do what they expect you to do, and surprise them with unexpected gestures or actions. This will keep them on their toes and prevent them from becoming complacent. The more mysterious you are, the more they will be drawn to you.

5. Subtly Challenge Their Self-Perception

This is a more advanced technique that should be used with caution. While narcissists thrive on admiration, they can also be intrigued by people who challenge their self-perception in a subtle way. This doesn't mean criticizing them or putting them down, but rather offering a different perspective or questioning their beliefs in a respectful manner. This can pique their interest and make them see you as someone who is intellectually stimulating.

For example, if they express a strong opinion, you could say something like, "That's an interesting perspective. I can see where you're coming from, but have you considered this...?" This will challenge their thinking without making them feel attacked. However, be careful not to be too critical or confrontational, as this can trigger their defenses and push them away. The key is to be subtle and respectful while still challenging them to think differently.

6. Mirror Their Behavior

Mirroring is a psychological technique where you subtly imitate someone's behavior, such as their body language, speech patterns, and mannerisms. This creates a sense of rapport and connection, as people are naturally drawn to those who are similar to them. Narcissists are particularly susceptible to mirroring because they are often highly attuned to social cues and body language.

To mirror their behavior effectively, pay attention to their posture, gestures, and tone of voice. Subtly imitate these behaviors in your own interactions with them. For example, if they lean forward when they're talking, you can lean forward slightly as well. If they use a particular phrase or expression, you can incorporate it into your own vocabulary. This will create a sense of connection and make them feel more comfortable around you.

7. Be a Good Listener

As we've discussed, narcissists love to talk about themselves. Therefore, being a good listener is a crucial skill when it comes to attracting them. Pay attention to what they say, ask follow-up questions, and show genuine interest in their stories. This will make them feel validated and admired, which will only fuel their obsession.

Avoid interrupting them or changing the subject to yourself. Instead, let them dominate the conversation and focus on making them feel heard and understood. This doesn't mean you have to agree with everything they say, but it does mean being respectful and attentive to their perspective. The better you listen, the more they will be drawn to you.

Important Considerations and Ethical Boundaries

While these tips can be effective in attracting a narcissist, it's crucial to remember that relationships should be built on mutual respect, honesty, and empathy. Trying to manipulate someone into becoming obsessed with you can be a slippery slope, and it's important to consider the ethical implications of your actions.

It's also important to be aware of the potential downsides of being in a relationship with a narcissist. Narcissistic relationships can be emotionally draining, and they often involve patterns of manipulation, control, and emotional abuse. If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, it's crucial to prioritize your own well-being and seek support if needed.

Remember, guys, your mental health and emotional well-being should always be your top priority. While understanding the psychology behind attraction can be fascinating, it's vital to use this knowledge responsibly and ethically. Building healthy relationships based on genuine connection and mutual respect is far more rewarding in the long run.

Conclusion

Making a narcissist obsessed with you involves understanding their unique mindset and employing specific strategies to capture their attention. Showering them with admiration, playing hard to get, exuding confidence, creating mystery, subtly challenging their self-perception, mirroring their behavior, and being a good listener are all effective techniques. However, it's crucial to remember that relationships should be built on mutual respect and genuine connection. Prioritize your own well-being and be mindful of the ethical boundaries involved in influencing someone's feelings. While the allure of attracting someone with narcissistic tendencies can be strong, building healthy and balanced relationships should always be the ultimate goal.